In following the self-talk in my mind I often get lost. Not always, but it happens often enough that I expect it to happen every time. “Monkey mind” is what Buddhists call it. I call it my Magpie mind. Both monkeys and magpies are chattery critters so I don’t feel sacrilegious in my choice of nomenclature. Is the fourth sentence in a blog post too early in the post to be using a big word like “nomenclature? Let’s hope not. Although it can be undone, edited out, I am leaving it in there. Yet, imagine using the word in casual conversation. I will not go that far.
Yesterday I started the morning by going to the laundromat, then I started to drive back home, or nearly so. At that point I realized that I forgot to buy coffee, so I drove back into town to buy the stuff. The rest of the day I slept, on up until 7 PM. There was a two hour period of waking, then I went back to sleep for the night. Upon waking this morning I still felt mildly dizzy and mildly shaky. What’s up with that? I don’t rightly know, but I have to live with it. Sleeping later than usual, during the second phase of the sleep-a-thon, I only had a few minutes of star watching before they faded away into the early light of dawn. Then what? I rely on my stars to inspire me before the working day goes to the dogs. I find that I am loving to work with the dogs, regardless of their proclivity to be rambunctious. There are a few that take it easy but few they are. I’d like to list some of the spiritual benefits of handling dogs but I actually find that it is just the dogs themselves that provide me with benefits. Just being there does it for me.
Again I ask myself why I feel so out of sorts. I have slightly over one month before I visit the neurologist to get an assessment of my neurological health. My current discomfort has all of the earmarks of suicidal ideation, that scurrilous symptom of bipolar disorder that really bugs the heck out of me, and when it comes around I am pretty much obliged to tolerate its presence. I’ll tell you right now, it is not pleasant company! I’m just dying to be done with it. Oh woe is me, right?
One of my brightly smiling and faithful readers commented on yesterday’s post here at Eyeyote. Comments seem to happen exclusively on Facebook rather than here on the blog page. That suits me just fine. Anyway, this reader, she wrote of her ‘Inner Rabbit’ in reference to the big and valid Truth that we are responsible for choosing how to view any and all situations in our lives. ‘Rabbit’ is a metaphor of sorts, symbolizing the survival instincts that we all innately possess. I had written of wrestling with rambunctious dogs. In the Totem realm Dog harkens to the great power embedded in self respect and self value. Folks sense that and respect you much more than if you rankle on yourself habitually. The dog that had me down in the dirt, when I was trying to take him out of the holding pen and back inside the shelter was a pit bull mix, probably with a terrier. Most of the pit bull mixes we have in the shelter are blended with terriers. I don’t know what that symbolizes but I love the animal, regardless of the reputation that pit bulls have. I’ve heard that love is all you need. So mote it be.
In the Wiccan tradition dogs barking at night for no discernible reason are telling you that Hecate is passing by. One of the attributes of Hecate is that she is the Goddess of magic and the three-way crossroads, accompanied by her three dogs. That really speaks to my own spirit but I am at a loss to as why that is. Maybe I will soon come along one path that the offers two paths to choose from? Will the neurologist be the one who unveils the choice? I am scared but I want to know the truth. Yet magic? It can give rise to most any possibility. My muses generally guffaw at that. They know how I am. Magic happens. Magic heals. The soul heals through a process that embraces magic as a powerful tool.
“Once in a vision
I came on some woods
And stood at a fork in the road
My choices were clear
Yet I froze with the fear
Of not knowing which way to go.
One road was simple
Acceptance of life
The other road offered sweet peace
When I made my decision
My vision became my release.” ~ Dan Fogelberg
There you have it! Just what did Dan mean by that? Either way life choices sound pretty good to me. I will, at this point, call it a mystery and leave it at that. Which brings me to the here and now. Oscar the turkey gobbles outside in his traditional greeting to the sunrise. Turkey Totem says to make sure that one is always in keeping with their spiritual path. This one is – umm – I mean I am. Bring on the dogs! This loyal caregiver is going to the dogs in about one hour. The shakiness and dizziness has been removed by my psych meds. Lucky me, I have bot magic and meds to get me through the day. Huzzah!
Peace out, y’all. Goof gloriously.