Kiss and Say Thank You

Ollie 021

“The number of things he thought of saying all at once nearly suffocated him.”  ~  C. S. Lewis

Tired, tired. Maybe a bit underfed. When the weekly budget starts to shrivel like a prune, and belt-tightening becomes the exercise regimen, and dirty laundry lays unattended because what’s the use, it all comes together, then you know that someone is now better off and it ain’t you. Bear in mind that I have bipolar (2) depression and PTSD, and neither one is especially worthy of consideration unless triggered, at which point, boy howdy get a reign on that horse before some poor dog gets head kicked. The dog in our opening photo here at EyeYotee blog is Ollie, a healer/Australian cattle dog mix. Ollie is long gone. I watched her go as she died on my lap from euthanasia; an honor, to be sure. The lap thing was suggested by the lady vet because she thought the dog had simply had enough and carrying her into the building then back out was unnecessary. I concurred. The dog was old, she had become incontinent, but her grand goofy smile never faded. I buried her in a grave I’d dug back in Autumn, just in case she died during winter, when the ground would not be open to shovel activity. I’d piled up the stones and dirt so that they would hang loose, enough so that, when frozen, refilling the hole would be as easy as possible. Ollie died in Spring. I think the reason that Ollie came to mind this morning is because of the newest controversy at the animal shelter. I mean, I picked the photo last night, because it kinda sorta reminded me of me these days. Tired, tired. The deeper significance only came to me just now, as a gift from my perky Muse. I’m pretty sure that all animal shelters run up against the kill/low kill/no kill controversy at some time or another. It’s an important issue. I have personally attended four euthanasia sessions; three cats and one dog. All needed to go. There was no denying that. What changed my life during the first cat’s journey onward was something the veterinarian, Dr. Aversa, did that surprised the bejeezus out of me, yet his action clearly and immediately, like that proverbial bolt from the blue, stitched heaven and earth together for me. Philosophy aside, it all now made sense. A simple and touching action, the vet leaned over, kissed the animal, and said thank you. Imagine if when God takes us, He, She, whatever, kisses us and says thank you. How could it be otherwise? Even though I no longer work at the shelter I still hold to the outlook that came to me through inspiration that day. Some animals end up being warehoused when no adoption comes, for months and then years. I feel that these animals should be kissed and thanked before dominion becomes crueltyEuthanasia for the purpose of creating space in the face of over-capacity intake? I’ll not go into that here. No debates please. This is a blog, not a public forum.

Whew. I’m glad that paragraph is over. I’m tired enough as it is, and writing about heavy topics can wring you out just as sure as a pick and shovel can. So, my tasks today consists of laundry and then the ramada that needs weatherproofing yonder at my ex’s house. Stopgaps will be just the thing until unemployment payments start appearing in my checking account, which won’t be for two weeks, or until I find a new job. I told the Operations Manager at the shelter that I very much want to return to work there. Dude I’ll be all sad and stuff without them cats in my life dude. But I ain’t holding’ my breath dude. I do enough of that as it is. What’s the sense in that, right?

Sunrise is well underway now. I just heard some covert songbird sing briefly outside the window. The deep blue of early morning is lightening up. Say, what’s with the covert thing anyway? I guess with birds it is a matter of survival at times. But covert people friggin piss me off. Spies, detractors, and folks of that ilk, they surpass the bounds of decency when transparency is the obvious and healthy choice. On a different note, and speaking of healthy choice, have y’all ever tried one of them Healthy Choice frozen dinners? They are inexpensive but they aren’t much good at filling your stomach. There are better and more economic ways. This applies to many other things in life as well. Regardless, I hope to work with animals again. I might go volunteer on occasion but that is a far cry from getting down and dirty while playing an integral working part in the community, in the economy. I used to do that 36 hours a week. Damn it, I miss that already. Say, by the way – do you think folks really eat frozen meals? Of course not. They heat ’em up first.

Peace out, y’all. Goof gloriously.

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