A State of Play

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“I have noticed that even those who assert that everything is predestined and that we can change nothing about it still look both ways before they cross the street”   ~  Stephan Hawking

“Because noting states of mind as they arise keep us present, it allows us to meet difficulties at their inception – before they become more real than we are.”

.  .  .  .  which brings us back to today. The stars were a 9 on a scale of 10 when I first awoke, thanks to the cat. She has made her new feeding time 2:30 AM rather than three. Silly animal. We’ll have to do something about that when I go back to work. If we can. Until then I bow to her annoying cuteness, Friggin cat.

It’s 42º and I am liking it. About 48 hours until the Equinox, give or take. I always enjoy the shift of light, and Autumn light sparks my soul. I could use a little spark right now. Run down by the mental issues. Reminders of what is rational can be taxing, when the body insists that rational ain’t the way to go.

I’ve been thinking about a friend lately. The trouble is that I have been prone to compare one friend with any number of others. Of course that doesn’t work. Acceptance has its place. Allow people to be who they are because they are that anyway. Simple.

There is one friend who outshines all the others; my best friend, who had me drinking champaign out of her shoe at midnight, New Years Eve, 1979-80. That may sound plenty weird, right? We were already deeply entangled by that time. We are to this day, although I have not physically seen her for roundabout 15 years. Spatial issues need not apply. But the friend I have been thinking about lately? I’m not sure quite why the thoughts come to me. I listen but let it be listening, plain and simple.

I am not up to analysis these days. Even in therapy I keep it simple. Seeing and hearing can so easily be distorted, which takes the winds out of the sails of mystery. Oooooo  .  .  .  a nautical metaphor! Makes me want to motor on out in a well-worn skiff and party with the phytoplankton under the full moon, out over the reef at the edge of the Florida Straits. Ya outta try it. It is so very sweet. My older brother and I were out there fishing one night. His first wife was with us. She asked what all of the glowing green stuff in the water was. We told her it was the Bermuda triangle so don’t worry. Our bad. But funny. The friend in my thoughts lately has me scratching my head. I’ll leave it at that.

It appears we are going to have a short blog post this morning, here at EyeYotee blog. The seeds of my new life are just beginning to sprout, wiggling at a snail’s pace as they emerge from soil that has been fertilized some with authentic shit. I’ve not found nor chosen any new direction at this point, so I simply watch it all grow. It’s friends again. Some step out when times are hard. I value these folks more now. There is one that I have not seen in months, and I owe her a hug. She is one of the loves of my life, of which there are about a dozen at this point and place in time. These “loves of my life” are women who touched me at a soul level from the git go. It don’t get no better than that. Only one of these women has passed away, and the ache from her passing is an ache that I will carry for the rest of my life. I’m all about beauty this morning. They all got it, all these friend. It just plays out in different ways. Life is a state of play.

Peace out, y’all. Goof gloriously.

addendum: Het, did ya notice that I have more paragraphs than usual this morning. What’s up with that, right?

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