With So Much Love


“He had an idea that even when beaten he could steal a little victory by laughing at defeat.”  ~  John Steinbeck

Here we go again. Second pot of coffee gurgling to my back. Cat at my side, sleeping skillfully. I had a run-in with the cat last night. She was laying on something I didn’t want her to lay on, and when I went to move her she tensed up with the feral spirit she was born with. Needless to say I got cautious. I played it as such until I could get the thing out from under her without bodily damage. There were a couple of iffy moments there. Yikes. Our opening photo here at EyeYotee blog is of one of my all time favorites: the noble Scraggly. I’ve told his story here before, but the truth of it is that his face and ears pretty much tell the story. Here, his right eye looks as it is; he had some of that respiratory muck that shelter animals get on occasion. I could have dolled that up and made it disappear with software but I wanted the existential punch. Dutiful caregivers get right on it, medicating the eyes and if necessary squirting bubblegum flavored antibiotics down their little throats. Bubblegum?! What is up with that?! I don’t know about you but I would prefer oral antibiotic liquid to taste chalky and bitter. Maybe it’s just an existential thing?

“A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down”.  ~  Mary Poppins

Yeh, maybe. Hmmm, seems I am in an existential mood today. I was just out watching the moon, so my mood, to me, feels more mystical. For whatever reason I was focusing on the dark patches and thinking of how some cultures see these patches as a rabbit, whereas the culture I know sees a man’s face. Wow, I just looked it up and the phenomenon of forming mental meanings from natural patterns is called pareidolia. The link will take you to the definition, and I hope it makes you smile and chuckle as it did me. Especially my metaphysically oriented friends. I mean, I see dragons in the clouds and the clear image of Grandfather Mountain. It’s not rocket science. Are they trying to tell me there is nothing there besides an incidental pattern?! Friggin pragmatists. Dude that’s why they make magic mushrooms dude. Get real.

Gladly stated, my moody down cycle is finally on the upswing. It never happens too soon. During my moon watch I was thinking of similes. The bottom of a down cycle is like a weathered brine burned crappy old piece of wood, where the grain of the wood is so chaotic that anything and everything goes against the grain. The beginning of an upswing feels suspect. The brightening is really just a coat of cheap varnish. That shine ain’t real. No way, no how. But  .  . .  sometimes, like this morning, the varnish is a shining organic thing. It enriches and nourishes that crappy piece of wood, instead of simply embellishing, ummm errr, guilding the lily. Geez, friggin spell check just questioned “guilding”. Anyway, a series of synchronicities was what probably raised me up from the funky depths. For that I am grateful. Yesterday’s post speaks of the beginning of this serial cheer-me-up. So, on Monday morning I had a visit from the spirit of dear Lori, who was the one true love of my life, soulmate stuff. I have maybe another dozen loves of my life, but the relationships with them are of various natures. What it boils down to is I love their spirits, their qualities as human beings, and their intelligence. All women. On Tuesday I finally got around to going to the laundromat. I’d planned on stopping by one of the local coffee joints to see one of these women. She works there. But I spaced it out. As I stood folding my laundry I felt a presence, and there she was. She had the day off. Nice hug, that one. She is the youngest of the lot, at 21, a strikingly beautiful tiny Spanish woman. And then last night I phoned another of these women, a friend of over 30 years. We met about a year after my NDE. She lives back east, but I’d hug her if I could. It’s been a nice week. Lucky me.

The moon has just slipped behind the mesa. Air temperature 17º.  The cat is now sleeping at my other side. I look at the day and realize that there aren’t many must-dos. One necessity is to practice gratitude throughout the day. I probably should be visualizing prosperity as well. That one comes harder for me. It’s been a while. If money is energy it ain’t no friggin wonder I’m so tired. I’ll also practice self-compassion, and mercy. That last one is the essence of it all at this point. And the point is to get back to Spirit. My worldview is pretty much shamanic. I love the shapeshifting perspective, and the perspective where material life is not an illusion so much as it is a dream. Anyway, from the overall shamanic perspective, when one is distressed, dispirited, whatever, the spirit has flown. The task is then to call back the spirit. It might take a while but I am on it. With so much love it couldn’t be too hard, right?

Peace out, y’all. Goof gloriously.



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