Nails, Screws, and Fasteners

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“Shamanism is not confined to specific socio-economic settings or stages of development. It is fundamentally the ability that all of us share, some with and some without the help of hallucinogens, to enter altered states of consciousness and to travel out of body in non-physical realms – there to encounter supernatural entities and gain useful knowledge and healing powers from them.”   ~   Graham Hancock

It will be a walk in the wilderness wide open spaces for me this morning. It is needed. This little mind, all mucky with information, to the point where requisite information is squelched, will walk with me, and instead of bringing it to heel I will let it run free, leash laws be damned. The Rio Grande Gorge West Rim Trail oughtta be just the thing. I love it out there, for the primal feel and for the irrepressible openness. I don’t know about ghosts but I do know there are a lot of other spirits out there. That’s another thing I like about. I find it very easy to get small in that place, to listen to the Dreamtime as it whispers back in response to smaller dreams of the more personal kind. Recently I have drifted into that space of self-absorption where an introvert can stumble into on occasion. Too much input? Yup. New things, new social relations, newness in general, meanings not yet formed, found, whatever. A guy could get tired doing all this at once. One woman I know would probably at this point try to remind me that I am once again talking about myself, about my inner process and philosophy, perhaps to the detriment of any points of actual merit I may choose to write about. And I would be like all WTF lady. A guy’s gotta draw the line somewhere; wink, wink. I don’t know why that pisses me off, but it does. Self-importance? Maybe. Self-importance is one of the hurdles a warrior must overcome, says Don Juan Matus, as told by Carlos Castenada. For that, for the overcoming, the presence of a petty tyrant in one’s life is precious, because a petty tyrant is the one who can rouse self-importance to a level where it can be seen, and seeing that inner force in the light of day gives you the chance to wrestle it to the ground. Consider this to be ‘the good fight’. That woman also said that I spend too much time fighting the good fight. What is it with her anyway?!

Beautiful sunrise this morning:


“Only mediocrity is sure of itself.”  ~  Paulo Coelho

Yup, it’s a down cycle today. It reminds me of all the information about practical management of mental illness, provided by Dennis, on his Bipolar Manifesto website. His sharing has helped me along the way. But what I seek from this down cycle is the simple and beautiful point where Spirit shines through the tight lattice of mind. Boy howdy I am tempted to cross the line into florid poetic expression. Suffice it to say that there is indeed beauty in mental illness as well. The trick is to find it. That’s one big trick! As I mentioned yesterday I’ve been reading Debra Diamond’s wonderful book, Life After Near Death. She talks about how those who experience NDEs often return from the Other Side with some purpose, some life lesson to detect. I’ve often wondered about that. I know that I was admonished to write a book about my NDE, and I did that thing; and I thought that was it. But it wasn’t. This came to me only yesterday while at work. I don’t remember where – it could have been in the aisle surrounded by nails, screws, and fasteners. But the message was clear. My task is to learn to let the Light shine through this thing called mental illness. The Light comes to us, and we refract it with the lens at hand; the perceptual lens. There is no reason to presume that it really matters which lens, or what kind of lens it is. Complexity, transparency, whatever. Bear in mind that the illness came first; before the NDE. Dr. Bauer, a brilliant woman who was my first psychotherapist, said the the illness may have lain dormant, and the head and emotional trauma may have triggered activation of this genetic trait. But there was no way to know. I was not one of the fortunate ones who returned after the NDE to live in a world of Love and Light, and flowers, and clear skies, and Kosmic(sic) Oneness. I returned to enter a struggle. I felt as if I had awakened in someone else’s life. The mundane world no longer made any friggin sense at all. Not that it had before, but you get my point, right? It’s ‘the good fight’ my friend mentioned. And no, lady, I don’t spend too much time fighting that fight, I spend all the time. All things being All One I get only one chance, so I’d better get it right the first time, because there ain’t no second chance. Tools at hand, my friend, tools at hand. Tools are in aisle five, just over from aisle six, where we found the nails, screws, and fasteners. Seems I had a mini-satori in aisle six yesterday. Go figure.

Peace out, y’all. goof gloriously.


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