Compliance and Natural Recalcitrance


“We have an obligation to use language. To push ourselves: to find out what words mean and how to deploy them, to communicate clearly, to say what we mean. We must not attempt to freeze language, or to pretend it is a dead thing that must be revered, but we should use it as a living thing, that borrows words, that allows meanings and pronunciations to change with time.”  ~  Neil Gaiman

“At all times something wondrous is happening.”  ~ Ken Ebert

Two lights in the sky at the moment. The just past full moon heading down to the horizon and the first pale light of the sun reaching up and out with a message concerning the new day. The message is something that you pretty much have to pick up as you go along. You’re not going to get it all at once. Don’t even try. I don’t care how much education you have. Just wait, just listen. You don’t want to get it wrong, now, do you? For me it’s laundry day. There’s a certain amount of waiting involved there but I am in and out of the laundromat in just over an hour. The place smells good too. And they sweep the floor throughout the day. I like it there. Second task is to deliver a birthday present to a friend. After that who knows. I’m not feeling well, yet a certain amount of resignation has kindly put me in a state that nearly serves as a proxy for mindfulness. That’ll do. I can feel the burn from Friday’s physical therapy session with a really really tall young fella named Leo. It was his last day on the job. I feel honored to have had his knowledge applied to my body’s needs.

There’s a raven squawking out there, and Oscar the turkey is giving a speech from atop the coop. He usually doesn’t gobble so much in the morning, not until he comes over to the gate near my room. He’s like the cat: he likes to tell me what to do. How compliant I am is anybody’s guess. Here tell I’m naturally recalcitrant. There’s plenty of evidence to support that opinion. Whatever. I don’t know if it’s the now long term depression or something more physical, but I just feel like sitting in the chair. I’ve been thinking about that lately. Comes a time when it is nearly impossible to separate the subjective behavioral aspects of depression from the more physical ones. The chicken/egg continuum takes over. It’s like all hey is that guy lazy or just bummed out. All of thee (sic) above dude. Observe and report. My face is hanging heavy today. It’s been a tough week, and a tough few years before that. And yet the cat sits at my side, patiently awaiting her morning meal. It is not like her to be patient and courteous. She’s another one likes ta push me around. But there is magic and love in that wily, unpredictable, and generally mysterious creature. She’s pretty much my anchor these days.

Peace out, y’all. Goof gloriously.

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