“I don’t believe that consciousness is generated by the brain. I believe that the brain is more of a reciever of consciousness.” ~ Graham Hancock
Soft snow. Yesterday, rain at dawn, now this. I like it. A gray sky suits me well today. Yesterday was a nightmare in that the dark part of this mental illness they call bipolar 2 got the best of me. Luckily I had an obligation to fulfill, which came in the form of a visit to the veterinary clinic to have Rosie’s blood sugar level checked. A little low says the lovely Doctor Kim, but within acceptable parameters. Good kitty. Necessity pulled me out of the chemical funk, although the rest of the day was still at the edge of nightmarish. Folks who have never been in the dark space of mental illness cannot even begin to imagine. Bad, bad, bad. The late and fabulous writer David Foster Wallace called depression “The Bad Thing”, and he wrote a short story about it, “The Depressed Person“. It’s hard to read due to content, but Wallace is a bit hard to read anyway. He makes the reader work, and hard. But he is worth the read, even if it is just to experience a few of his long and intricate sentences. Meanwhile, back at the vet clinic. I got a pleasant surprise there, which actually had me smiling and shaking my head, on and off all day after that. OMG, she is a beauty. She’s a vet tech there, and when she came through the door to get the cat she did so with a swagger and a smile. She took my breath for a moment. Last time I did the flirting. This time it was all about her, and I drank that attention right up. And then again when she brought Rosie back out after the test. As she returned to the back room she tossed a glance over her left shoulder, twice, brilliant smile, bounce in step, wink in eyes. Yes she is young enough to be my granddaughter. That’s irrelevant, k? Don’t go there. Just don’t. My Costa Rican friend brightened up, with her beauty, a truly horrid day, in a way that can only be described as divine providence. Age has nothing to do with that. This is human intersubjective relations. Like I said – OMG. And on that note – sad here because I will not be going back to the vet for nearly two months. Oh woe is me, right? I think I’ll drive into town and relish the snow that covers the place this morning.
Peace out, y’all. Goof gloriously.