A Lure or Allure

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“If there is a single definition of healing it is to enter with mercy and awareness those pains, mental and physical, from which we have withdrawn in judgment and dismay.”  ~  Stephen Levine

Having nine hours of sleep on Saturday night was a rare and highly blessed relief. A depressive without adequate sleep is in trouble, a kind of trouble that lingers on and on and on and mocks happiness. I’m just easing out of a hypomanic phase that was spoiling for a fight, and I gave it one. Boy howdy, it just came high time and I rose to the challenge. The worst times were in the mornings, but I fed it coffee, which calmed it down for a spell. Shades of Ritalin, right? Use speed to fight speed. That’s what I say. Its a matter of  –  hey, wait a minute, don’t that sound like ADHD? Yer darned tootin it does! Mental health, illness, whatever, lies on a spectrum that sure ain’t no rainbow.

“He knows that you have to laugh at the things that hurt you just to keep yourself in balance, just to keep the world from running you plumb crazy”  ~  Ken Kesey

I keep thinking back, seeing nearly clearly how thought itself can be a disease at times, to my physical therapy session last week. I could go obsessive over that but I don’t want to. It may have been mostly fantasy, but that makes little difference when it comes to purpose. That shining therapist with her quirky ways – well, let’s just say she opened up a constricted flow in my mind. I also think of David Bohm’s Implicate and Explicate Order. Remember – underlined words in these posts are usually links. That one was. The concept of these two orders feeds me dearly these days. Something unfolded that usually does not unfold. Am I confusing you yet? And then there is, from Chaos Theory, the concept of “Strange Attractors.” Some things keep happening but you never know when or where they might pop up. There are patterns in life, and to that physical therapist, who helped activate a nice one, I must say thank you ma’am. Physical therapy and psychotherapy bleed together in regards to the PTSD that haunts me. My ex-wife was a strange attractor. Boy howdy was she ever! Yes dear, I miss you and would be mildly happy to see you again. Yeesh. I feel pretty good this morning. That’s my point. We loosened up some tight muscles and tendons last Thursday. Her hair is strawberry blond and she is well trained, and applies that training very well. The other part, a blend of smiles and words and fantasy, also loosened up a lot of stuff that sorely needed loosening as well. Thank you ma’am. Positive thinking works best when you don’t push things. Pushing tends toward contraction and pulling lends toward expansion. A lure, allure, whatever. It’s all good, right? It is what it is. Yeah, it worked pretty good.

Peace out, y’all.

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