Harnessing Renegade Cognition

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“When I say it’s you I like, I’m talking about that part of you that knows that life is far more than anything you can ever see or hear or touch. That deep part of you that allows you to stand for those things without which humankind cannot survive. Love that conquers hate, peace that rises triumphant over war, and justice that proves more powerful than greed.”  ~  Fred Rogers

“Someday, after mastering the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of love, and then, for a second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.”  ~  Teilhard de Chardin

Maybe it’s weird. I begin a blog post with quotes from Teilhard de Chardin and Mister Rogers. Let’s just say that it is a wonderful day in the neighborhood. And the Noosphere is still alive and kicking. And there are no outsiders. Right? I’m beginning to think so. I have no idea why.

It is coming up from the dark, and this morning is one blanketed by a high fast moving overcast, with a breeze that is mostly failing at being cool. I have that trouble at times myself. But yesterday was rich in many ways. Just before my physical therapy appointment I realized that I was three hours late in taking my morning dose of psych meds. My bad. It’s not like I don’t notice how my body reacts to this neglect. I do. The meds help me in a big way. I am often grateful to the lovely Dr. Debra Solomon (a little promo plug link for my friend) for her astute diagnostics. Although she is cautious in prescribing meds she did right by me. I was a mess when I first went to see her. And as an aside, the hug we shared on the last day of her being my shrink was one of the best I have known. Thank you. The therapy session went well. Leo was my therapist this time. Young, with a still fresh license. And tall. It helps my ailing neck just to turn my head up to look him in the eye. Nice, firm, expressive handshake as well. I like the kid. We worked on my posture muscles. My slumping posture is more behavioral than physical, but having the muscles ready to help me straighten up is valuable. At the end of the session he worked on my neck, loosening up some serious knots. Thank you. When I got home, after a little shopping, I found a French woman sitting on the deck outside my room. Odd, right? We chatted about the magnificence of Oscar the Turkey, who stood just outside of the farm animal-proof fence, which protects the deck from chicken poop, displaying his full glory and occasionally gobbling a good one in letting the French woman know who was boss. The conversation drifted away from turkeys after a spell, when I asked her her nationality. French; I’d pegged her as Israeli. I was wrong. Somehow, the conversation then drifted on to head trauma and its after effects. She was ten years into recovery, while I am 30+ years into mine. The talk went deep. The struggles, the obstacles, the need for loving support, and the compelling need for harnessing renegade cognition, and directing it toward accommodating the brain injuries while creating a new level of brain function to replace the old. I’m working on it, k? If you see me twitch or spasm give me a smile. It helps. The whole while we were chatting her travel companion was inside the house, playing some world class classical guitar music. Just practicing, said he. Wow. The whole scene was surreal for me, and a healthy boost for my soul. When I let cognition run rampant my soul suffers. Rein it in, son, rein it in. It just began to rain as I wrote that last sentence. See – even Nature tells puns.

For some reason I am thinking about my ex-wife this morning. It’s been 20+ years since I’ve seen her, and 40 years since we lived together in Seattle. And 37 since the divorce. I remember us walking into the city from Queen Anne Hill one day, all the while with me spinning out plot and storyline from a possible science fiction novel. Nice. We had a lot of fun together. I was not who she thought I was, said she in the end. Bueno bye. Which leaves me here this morning. I’d like to see her again. We could talk. But is is another day in the hardware store for me. Many people are growing things in their gardens, while I do my best to accommodate their needs while reining in my wayward cognition. I don’t always think about this glitch. I try to keep my awareness at a meta level. That’s where the healing and rehab works best. That’s what I am on about today.

Peace out, y’all. Goof gloriously.

 

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