No Specific Strange Attractor

snow ridge 042.jpg

“At any rate, during the few hours when the depressive state itself eased off long enough to permit the luxury of concentration, I had recently filled this vacuum with fairly extensive reading and I had absorbed many fascinating and troubling facts”  ~  William Styron, Darkness Visible

“Great dreamers’ dreams are never fulfilled, they are always transcended.”  ~  Alfred North Whitehead

Snow fell while I was sleeping. Now, after a couple of hours awake I have yet to see more. Yesterday the realization came to me that we are deeper into Winter and I have yet to tire of the season. That’s a good sign. Aggravations, sure, and annoyances as well. Going out on an icy highway when you know darn well that there are people out there who coulda used a little rudimentary physics in their schooling. Whatever. Here it is a peaceful morning, yet I am not at peace. It feels okay this morning to feel this way. The over-the-top outlandish antics of our new President and his crew are, I’m sure, disturbing many people. I consider myself lucky that I don’t have any vocal, overt Trump supporters in my immediate circles. But it is still quite early on in the game. Do I accept him as my President? The question is meaningless to me. Don’t even try it. This is also one of those mornings when I can feel the tenacious pull of a strong depressive cycle yanking at me. I’ve not given in to this kind of yanking in quite some time. It is often tempting to let depression have its way with me, but that is not somewhere I am willing to go anymore. This past Sunday, a mere two days ago, it almost sucked me in. I can’t rightly claim that I have much to live for, but that is not the point. The point is that I don’t need that, I simply need a lodestar, a beacon, whatever. Without a specific strange attractor, material or otherwise, a basic garden variety willingness to get there is all that is needed. Wherever ‘there’ is. And the truth of it is that there is no ‘there’ there. At all. One good example of what I am on about here is the infatuation I have going on these days. Infatuation may be too tepid a word, but that too is beside the point. Keep moving. That is the point. Please, just please, don’t even try to go all metaphor on me and mention a light at the end of the tunnel! Just don’t. I’ve been down the tunnel and into the Light. I absolutely, no way, no how, don’t recommend it for anybody. Not anybody. I’m SERIOUS. Life is in session here. I ply patience, force of will, a conviction or three, and a nice little toolbox of values. And keeping moving will take me right on into the shower, right after I first turn on the Enya Channel on Pandora internet radio. Morning and music. Move, my lad, just move.

Peace out, y’all. Goof gloriously.

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2 thoughts on “No Specific Strange Attractor

  1. Beautiful scenery in your photo. Sad about Trump. Sadder about those who didn’t even bother to vote yet now voice their outrage. Overt complaints. Covert apathy.

    • Thank you, Chenille. The scenery here, especially in Winter, is magnificent. I like the term “covert apathy”. Thank you for reading here, my readership is small and I always get excited when a new person shows up. I am guessing, from reading the blog stats, that you are in the UK? Yeh, the whole Trump spectacle will turn tragic.

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