A Bout of Shadow Stuff


“Though I am often in the depths of misery, there is still calmness, pure harmony and music inside me.”  ~  Vincent Van Gogh

I spent last weekend keeping distracted. Period. And now, nearly a week later I am no longer apt to keep myself distracted, though I am still in pretty deep. I don’t write about depression much anymore. It really hasn’t been a bother for a couple of months, thankfully, but it hit me over the weekend, and it might as well have hit me over the head. Mindfulness is a helpful technique to know, even if it is applied to just doing nothing, which is basically what I did last weekend. What did I accomplish? I got a free pass for entry into Monday. That’s good enough. Although I now know what triggered this week long bout of shadow stuff this is not really situational depression, which makes it less dangerous, less likely to mess anything in day to day life up very much. The worst it can do is to make me write a clunky sentence like that last one. The thing that tripped me into this spell is actually nothing to be upset about. In fact it makes me quite happy because it is something I learned that actually clarifies something that needed clarifying. Case closed. So here I sit this morning, slightly cold because I don’t feel like closing the window, which has been open a crack all night long. Fresh air, right? Yeh buddy. Now, if only I can get some fresh air into my stuffy head, which is both physically and mentally stuffy. Allergies account for the physical stuff. That’s all I know for sure. But the depression is clinical. It rarely is much of a problem anymore. I’m basically just edgy at this point. But today is the cat’s annual exam at the vet. Riding into and across town with her yowling on occasion will be just about as much fun as it ever is. She’s in good health. Maybe I can get a nap again this afternoon. Both sleep and food have lacking in the past week. Time to catch up, I suppose. Truth be told I didn’t even want to write a post today. I did that repost yesterday as an indulgence, because I didn’t want to write a post, so I didn’t. Progress. That said, I think I will meander on into the day now.

Peace out, y’al. Goof gloriously.


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