The Charm in Ambiguity


“A philosopher once asked, “Are we human because we gaze at the stars, or do we gaze at them because we are human?” Pointless, really…”Do the stars gaze back?” Now, that’s a question.”  ~  Neil Gaiman

It’s 4 AM, and dark, of course. Air temperature just below freezing. I just stepped out to look at the stars but the skunk caught my eyes first. He’d been up near the deck; I could tell. But he hightailed it back across the yard. Literally. His tail was up the way they do it before they spray. I worried at first, but then I realized that he was unlikely to run back over to confront a larger mammal. The security light on the shed across the yard was lit, allowing me to see what the heck was going on. Having decided that I was safe from the skunk I sat down on the deck. And the light clicked off. The stars appeared. Life has balance at times. I should have gone back to sleep after waking at 1:30, but I was drawn to check out the news online. And there it was: 24/7 information just waiting for me. No, wait. Really? Donald Trump is president? Really? Life also has imbalance at times. If that philosopher fella comes around and tells me “this too shall pass” I’d be inclined to tell him in return, “Not soon enough, dude. Not soon enough”. And if he should skitter away, at that point, like the skunk, I would not be offended. I’m not a fan of platitudes. Even less so since the head trauma. Yeh, I know, I know, that was 33 years ago. I should get over it, right? Ya think? Tell me how. Take your time. Now, moving forward. I’m all about stream of consciousness right now. I’m hungry, and the breakfast burrito from LotaBurger, that goes along with my church service, a portion of Sunday morning at the laundromat  .  .  .  well, let’s just say that I look forward to it. I get all reverent and stuff at the laundromat, especially on Sunday morning. Yes, and I practice gratitude as well. Forgiveness? Check. Humility? Well, maybe. But I don’t do the contrition thing, so don’t even try it, k? I haven’t got time for that. And don’t expect me to be ashamed of having no contrition. That just ain’t possible, if you catch my drift. Seems I’m all riled up this morning. The fact that the world has gone all surreal and stuff is pretty much a given at this point; a platitude; and you now know how I feel about platitudes. But if it is really surreal couldn’t we just have Salvador Dali as president instead of Trump? Don’t get me wrong, it’s not just him. Trump, I mean. My point is that this is all as real as it gets. But don’t let the bastards get you down. Practice optimism. Hear tell I create my own reality. Ain’t that just the darndest thing? At this point, if that is indeed true, I can only say what the fuck was I thinking? Wow, I know, I need to calm down. I’m just grouchy because of the hunger. Yeh, that’s it. I’ve got a nice platitude for that: it’s always darkest before the dawn. Wow. What about nautical twilight? Astronomical twilight? I’m still confused about all that. It all seems kind of gradual to me. It’s not like a light switch, is it? Oh! Maybe it’s a metaphor. Yeh, I like that. I like metaphors. They’re kinda like a snapshot of the workings of the mind. A flash that lights up heart and soul for a moment, before it all goes hidden again. Like a selfie for archetypes. No, wait, that was too obscure, wasn’t it. My bad.

“Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate
Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off”  ~  Taylor Swift

Long time readers here at EyeYotee may have noticed that it has been a good long while since I invited Taylor Swift to have late lunch with me. Just burgers and beer. No funny stuff. Well, I’m gonna do it again. Taylor, sweetie, the offer is still on. I get Social Security benefits now, so you don’t have to buy. It’s on me. Don’t worry about that other woman I invited to dinner. She only said maybe. And there it sits. You haven’t said yes, but you haven’t said no either. That’s kind of like a maybe, right? I’m genuinely smiling here, sister. There is a lot of charm in ambiguity. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Because I create my own reality. It wouldn’t be ya know like a date or anything. Just lunch. We could chat, and laugh. I’d like that.

She rings like a bell through the night and
Wouldn’t you love to love her?
She rules her life like a bird in flight and
Who will be her lover?  ~  Stevie Nicks

No, I’m not inviting Stevie Nicks to lunch. The song just reminds me of my ex-wife. Why she came to mind is anybody’s guess. My inner troubadour has got the blues, that’s all. Just sadness. Nothing to see here. Taylor could make it all better, but, I understand, she’s a busy woman. Now, moving forward, all silliness aside. It is just now nautical twilight, so I’m going to step out and have one last look at the stars before sunrise, and maybe a skunk. It’s been fun writing this, this morning. It’s my day off, and I really am going to do the laundry and burrito thing in a couple of hours. I’m likely up for an afternoon nap as well. Not much sleep last night, and the way my hair looks this morning indicates that a certain amount of anxiety-driven thrashing about was going on. It’s going to be a beautiful day. That’s all I know.

Peace out, y’all. Goof gloriously

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