The Chairman and the Firehouse


“So don’t be frightened, dear friend, if a sadness confronts you larger than any you have ever known, casting its shadow over all you do. You must think that something is happening within you, and remember that life has not forgotten you; it holds you in its hand and will not let you fall. Why would you want to exclude from your life any uneasiness, any pain, any depression, since you don’t know what work they are accomplishing within you?”  ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

“What men call the shadow of the body is not the shadow of the body, but is the body of the soul.”  ~ Oscar Wilde

“He was cold, standing in a wood, talking to a big black bird who was currently brunching on Bambi.”  ~ Neil Gaiman, American Gods

Such an uneventful morning, and so grateful that it is this way. Hmmm, I should say “I” am so grateful? Whatever. My central nervous system is on edge. I’m sure there are psychological undercurrents that if recognized would pull back a few onion layers, or veils. I don’t remember who it was . . . someone fairly well known . . . was it Dawkins? Anyway, the question is are we really meant to understand the Universe? No is the answer. But can we understand it? I think that is a fine question, and I am inclined to say yes, but that understanding would have to come at wordless, silent times. I could well be in one of those times right now were it not for the incessant annoyance from tinnitus. Poor me, right? Tinnitus. They say that they don’t know where it comes from, unless, that is, you want to go the spiritual New Agey route and consider the ringing and hissing to be sound bleeding through from the astral world. But it is not that kind of silence. Not really. Like Ram Dass’ apartment over the Firehouse garage, you never know when that siren will shout. And will you take it in stride, with equanimity, with peaceful grace? My take on that scenario is that you can in startled reflex feel your spine lock up and your adrenals roar asunder, and still have an enlightened moment. Ram Dass pretty much said the same thing, but when I read about that I got the feeling that he maybe would rather not have to deal with the sound at all. Can’t blame him, really. And, hey, I love that man. For now, my mind is rambling and my inner chairman is getting a little too bossy. Chairman? Yeh, the guy who sits in the chair, on the chair, whatever. That’s where I want to be for the day, and the chairman is threatening to enforce his childish will. Ain’t gonna happen. Calling in to work, playing hooky, is not an option today. The chair can wait until after work. Sigh. Tired. Laundry tomorrow, and maybe the chair. I have thoughts of heading out for a walk along the West Rim Trail but I have no idea if the impetus to do so will occur in realtime. No matter. I feel ‘off’ this morning, but I’m okay with that.

Peace out, y’all. Goof gloriously.


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