Letting Go of Eternity


“I think that modern medicine has become like a prophet offering a life free of pain. It is nonsense. The only thing I know that truly heals people is unconditional love.” ~ Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, M.D

“Nonsense has taken up residence in the heart of public debate and also in the academy. This nonsense is part of the huge fund of unreason on which the plans and schemes of optimists draw for their vitality. Nonsense confiscates meaning. It thereby puts truth and falsehood, reason and unreason, light and darkness on an equal footing. It is a blow cast in defence of intellectual freedom, as the optimists construe it, namely the freedom to believe anything at all, provided you feel better for it.” ~ Roger Scruton, The Uses of Pessimism: And the Dangers of False Hope

There she was, and I had no clue. Driving to work, almost there; at the corner of Valverde and Camino de la Placita, and she was crossing the street in the crosswalk. Dressed impeccably. Black, knee-length overcoat. Hair styled just right. Pretty lady, indeed. I’m a careful driver but I like to look at a pretty lady should she appear along the way, as long as my driving is not impaired. This was the case with this woman. She had already crossed and turned left to follow the sidewalk to wherever it was she was going. It was safe. I was just rolling to a stop. So I turned to watch her as I came to a stop, with no cars behind me. I have to giggle a little bit here because she beat me to it. Our eyes met. She was already looking at me as I swiveled my always stiff neck to the left. It was the smile that left me stunned, then delighted. Her smile conjured my own; jaw dropped slightly, eyes widened. Then breathless. It was all natural. I could tell because my DNA was ringing like a brass bell. As well it should. Our eyes locked and our smiles were maxed out. She was young, and I was like “geez, does she even know how old I am?!”, which of course was a moot point. Two people, woman and man, sharing brilliant smiles, only for a few seconds, although eternity had a hand in it as well. I’d been looking for a sign for a few days, spurred on by a common bout of depression and existential angst; life hurt and I had deeply yearned for the pain to abate. Up until that moment with the pretty lady. She was my sign from the goddess. If you look just right you can see the goddess looking back at you through the eyes of a woman. Yeh, buddy! It woke me up. My spirit soared as I found my left foot depressing the clutch pedal. My head snapped around to face the road before me, but I didn’t want to let go of the sight of her smile. As you can tell, I haven’t let go. I’m not gonna let that memory fade.

I just stepped outside to witness the faint penumbral glow in the overcast sky. It’s a workday, and I just got myself all worked up in writing the opening passage. Passage is a good word for it, as far as time goes. It was a timeless cluster of moments that she and I shared, and I hope she knew that too. Regular readers of this blog will already know that I am a romantic and a dreamer. Case in point: those qualities came in handy yesterday. Maybe I was a troubadour in a past life, and maybe that troubadour is saying “maybe I am a cashier in a hardware store in my future life”. I don’t know, but the metaphysics of . . . hey, I gotta get ready for work. Burnin’ daylight when daylight ain’t even here yet. It’s okay. That smile. I’m a lucky man. I’d best watch out because if I get any luckier Taylor Swift will accept my lunch invitation, and I’m not sure I am ready for that  –  but the offer still stands, m’lady.

Peace out, y’all. Goof gloriously.



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