Memories of Now


“It’s being here now that’s important. There’s no past and there’s no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever, is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can’t relive it; and we can hope for the future, but we don’t know if there is one.” ~ George Harrison

“Sometimes I feel like if you just watch things, just sit still and let the world exist in front of you – sometimes I swear that just for a second time freezes and the world pauses in its tilt. Just for a second. And if you somehow found a way to live in that second, then you would live forever.” ~  Lauren Oliver, Pandemonium

“It’s dark now and I am very tired. I love you, always. Time is nothing.” ~ Audrey Niffineger, The Time Travelers Wife

Recently I solved an age-old (for me) mystery — one that would have ceased to be a mystery if I had only taken the time to google it. The issue was one of grammar, or syntax, or both. I’m still not clear on all that kinda stuff. Yeh, I call myself a writer, while admitting to not knowing some basic grammar. My maternal grandmother would have not been amused. She was a reader, but also a substitute teacher, English being her specialty. Ya see what I mean, dude? But I was going to say . . . . the mystery was ‘what does using square brackets around a word or phrase signify?’. So I just looked it up. It basically means that the one using the brackets has admitted to tweaking the content of a quote to some degree — or the editor has gone so far as to make it so, on purpose. All this considered, I am going to try it out right here and now. I’ve never done this before so give me some leeway, if you can find it in your heart to do so. I’m making an effort to grow, k? The last quote here, above . . . . Instead of “It’s dark now and I am very tired. I love you, always. Time is nothing.”, I’ll say “It’s dark now and I am very tired. I love you, always. Time is nothing [new]”. Time is nothing new; thus we oughtta be friggin used to it by now. I remember when my massage therapist asked me (why she was asking me this is anyone’s guess) if time is an illusion. I was face-down on the table, so she couldn’t see my face as I responded. All I said was that I have trouble with the term ‘illusion’. And I do. It’s like compared to what? For some reason this reminds me of a paraphrased quote I remember from some French quantum physicist: “Entropy is the measure of the lack of information about the true nature of a system”. Let that sink in. So, how can you call time an illusion? Yeh, compared to what? It’s not an illusion, we just have yet to get it. Like, ya know . . . . to really get used to it? Why all of this came to mind is that this morning I was scanning memories about my ex-wife, from whom I was divorced in the early Summer of 1979. Boy howdy that was a friggin long time ago, dude. I was earlier sitting out on the deck, at four o’clock in the morning, listening to barks barking angrily in the distance (probably coyote stuff, and the yotees were just shadows in the darkness). For some reason she came to mind, and the odd thing about it was that I realized that my memories of her did not until then contain any hugs and kisses. I had forgotten what it feels like to hold her. Well, I remedied that. She did and said a few things back then that effectively distorted them memories from that moment on. And I finally am starting to re-piece the whole kitten kaboodle. Listen babe, I remember now, and you can’t stop me. So was the love real? Yeh, it was, because it still is. All for now. Don’t worry, I remember now.

Peace out, y’all. Goof gloriously.

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