A Beautiful Woman in a Canoe


“Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.” ~ Terry Pratchett

“Coffee is a lot more than just a drink; it’s something happening. Not as in hip, but like an event, a place to be, but not like a location, but like somewhere within yourself. It gives you time, but not actual hours or minutes, but a chance to be, like be yourself, and have a second cup”  ~ Gertrude Stein

“For more than three decades, coffee has captured my imagination because it is a beverage about individuals as well as community. A Rwandan farmer. Eighty roast masters at six Starbucks plants on two continents. Thousands of baristas in 54 countries. Like a symphony, coffee’s power rests in the hands of a few individuals who orchestrate its appeal. So much can go wrong during the journey from soil to cup that when everything goes right, it is nothing short of brilliant! After all, coffee doesn’t lie. It can’t. Every sip is proof of the artistry — technical as well as human — that went into its creation.” ~ Howard Schultz 

All three of the quotes above kindle in me that annoying sense of urgency that belongs only to the first whispers of the early morning twilight. Things feel more profound at this hour. In fact, I’ve been up since 3 AM. That urgency has been poking at me the whole time. I know well how to medicate it, to medically dole out the doses — coffee, nicotine, and legal weed. There’s a big day ahead and the meds soften the blow in advance. Certainly the urgency is in part something oozing from the White House. That’s just creepy. It is one word I’ve yet to hear applied to our national crisis: creepy. The preznit of this nation is a creep. Who could deny that? Sigh. It is disturbing to see that this time of crisis in the nation is not going away: it is manufactured. Sigh again. I just can’t believe that this shit is real. Luckily beliefs are about as substantial as air, however when laced with integrity and true morality beliefs definitely carry more weight. Just a note, the word I used, back three sentences, is intentionally spelled “preznit”. I use that spelling as an allusion to Firesign Theater’s “We’re All Bozos on this Bus”, which is 70s stuff, and quite funny in an odd sort of way. Those boys definitely did a bit of acid along the way. I only used it a couple of times. The most memorable is when I spent the day in a canoe on Florida Bay, on a bright sunny Summer’s day, with a beautiful Puerto Rican woman. We popped some acid first. You can’t make this stuff up. My time in the islands is peppered with many such significant events. I can call myself lucky. Many of those events have slipped from memory, which is fine with me. All of it molded me to the point where I am today: laid back and pumped with coffee. Just kidding. I’ve never examined the ways in which island life molded my character, but it would be well worth looking into. I ain’t no Hemingway, but my time in the islands is just as valid as his, and I drank less alcohol, so you just chill Ernie. I woulda loved to tipped back a few with you. Maybe good Cuban rum, at your old haunt in Key West: Sloppy Joe’s. It says a lot dude. Right? BTW, no cigars for me, but I don’t mind if you smoke, seein’s how it is in your persona to do so. Say, could you bring Gertrude Stein along, and Fitzgerald as well? Dude thanks.

Peace out, y’all. Goof gloriously.


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