The Amiability of Convenience


“Other animals, in a constant and mostly unmediated relation with their sensory surroundings, think with the whole of their bodies.” ~ David Abram

“Other animals, in a constant and mostly unmediated relation with their sensory surroundings, think with the whole of their bodies.” ~ David Abram

“We are too frightened of shadows. We cannot abide our vulnerability, our utter dependence upon a world that can eat us. Vast in its analytic and inventive power, modern humanity is crippled by a fear of its own animality, and of the animate earth that sustains us.” ~ David Abram

Wow, I either slept too long or slept enough. When I awoke at 3 AM to mindlessly turn off the alarm I laid right back down into a web of dreams. I think all dreams are webs, spun by Clotho, one of the Three Fates, to give us access to our subliminal and subconscious (and unconscious mind) mind. Then . . . . I awoke at 4:45 AM and got up into this waking dream. I call this waking world a dream. It’s a shamanic thing: my NDE in 1984 served as a kind of shamanic initiation. So, if it’s a dream . . . just how is it different from the ineffable dreams? The differences are legion, but one I find to be of crucial importance is that our waking reality contains the force, and gift, of convenience. Our task is to pass through the convenience as if it is a mere chance at taking a breather from our spiritual journey. Hmmmm, don’t think about that too much, k? So why so lofty today, Mr, Ebert? Well, it is partially last night’s dreams, which seemed to be sourced in the future. I don’t remember details. But yesterday’s massage was better than usual. My struggle to prioritize convenience way down the list from the top, and keep it there, had me all knotted up from another struggle to escape from the strands that are no longer viable in my life. Lachesis’s web. Lacheis is one of the Fates as well. She does the spinning. Sometimes we get trapped. Then in therapy we drifted into a discussion of Lori, who was the love of my life. She died in a car crash, in 1995, dammit. That knotted me up good. Yesterday I nearly cried out loud during therapy, yet I inexplicably held it back, folded it, and put it back in the drawer where it belongs. It’s an excellent sign. I am becoming freed from the convenience of thinking and living as if Lori were gone. She’s not, not really. Love like that has a long shelf life. Her spirit is with me right now. She taught me more about love than any other woman. I would like to apply that knowledge with a new woman. There is nothing convenient about striving for that goal. I gotta remember that on a daily basis. Convenience may often appear amiable, but it not your friend.

addendum: the novel I am writing is titled The Final Convenience. I will be playing here with the whole idea of convenience — so you can expect more.

Peace out, y’all. Goof gloriously.


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