Tension Garnered


“The worst mistake a writer can make is to assume everyone has an imagination.” ~ Andrew McEwan

“How ya doin’?’ I always think, What kind of a question is that?, and I always reply, ‘A bit early to tell.” ~ Christopher Hitchens

“And it never even occurs to them their certainty that they are different is what makes them the same.” ~ David Foster Wallace

“In our native terms, the ironic style is often compounded with the sardonic and the hard-boiled; even the effortlessly superior. But irony originates in the glance and the shrug of the loser, the outsider, the despised minority. It is a nuance that comes most effortlessly to the oppressed.” ~ Christopher Hitchens

It seems I’m feeling a tad cynical and two tads judgmental this morning. But I won’t let it go to my head. It is a day, more so than usual, when I could stay home and keep myself entertained with stuff and such from Netflix. Lap cat, a spot of ale later on in the afternoon, likely the heating pad right around that same time. Uptight? Yeh. Can I relax? That takes a little more time to unwind than it does to accumulate. So much of bodily and emotional tension accumulates below the threshold of consciousness. By the time you notice it the notice comes because ya done gone and did it to yourself again. As a depressive I can do that without even taking the luxury of leaving home. The weight of the world has a distinct disbelief in walls. It can find you anywhere. No, I don’t feel the weight of the world on my shoulders again. Yesterday at work was a rigorous and significantly difficult challenge. It’s not that anything went actually wrong, or anybody did anything wrong. It didn’t. They didn’t. Our team pulled it off. The tension garnered, for me, was qualified by a distinct sense of accomplishment. Doing your job well, doing your best, acting impeccably . . . these are some basic tools for depressives. You don’t need to go and give yourself a pat on the head and an attaboy. Just do it and gracefully accept the balm that comes from doing it. It’s that simple. Be proud but don’t make a big thing of it. But don’t stylishly downplay it either. Attempts at humility often fail as soon as they begin. Don’t go there. Just don’t. Sigh. I’m gettin’ kinda sorta heady here and I’ve had about enough of that for now. It’s a workday. Time to get out and look at the sunrise for a few minutes, then rinse off in the shower. These too are good tools for depressives. Just sayin’.

Peace out, y’all. Goof gloriously.


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