Harnessing Chaos


“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.” ~ Sir Douglas Adams

“When you have once seen the glow of happiness on the face of a beloved person, you know that a man can have no vocation but to awaken that light on the faces surrounding him. ~ Albert Camus

“I know that the molecules in my body are traceable to phenomena in the cosmos. That makes me want to grab people on the street and say: ‘Have you HEARD THIS?”  ~ Neil deGrasse Tyson

“Peace and love!”. ~ Ringo Starr

I gotta give myself a peaceful, low-impact high five. Again — eight hours of sleep. Who knew, right? Yeh. Atta boy, Ken. Good work. Fact is, I think that Indica bud is a catalyst that kinda strokes my mind, much like I would stroke the cat, inducing purrs and then sleep, but I admit to needing more overall sleep anyway; and as I said yesterday, I need to spend more time in the Dreamtime. For that implementation, this sticky, aromatic bud is more of a key to the Dreamtime than a catalyst. Ya gotta intend to enter. Indica will put you on the threshold, but if you relinquish motivation you will end up on the door stoop looking for Fritos and spicy-hot bean dip. It is also good for deep, chronic pain, for anxiety, for seizures, and that old bugaboo, depression. I keep the dosages low, for the most part, which keeps the PTSD (the diagnosis that earned me the medical cannabis card) at bay. It seems to defuse the free-floating fear. Bottom line is it works. It also calms the persistent nervousness about having another seizure. It’s been three years now. There is still fear in the back of my mind. The two seizures did no physical harm that I know of. They scared me so dearly because it was so friggin strange! Tiny seizures that altered my perception of reality, and uncomfortably so. I might have panicked, but the central nervous system was otherwise occupied. Over-amped, wound too tight. Dr. Wangs, the neurologist, said that he suspected the episodes were from some unspecified brain damage from when I smacked my head too hard. We had two acronyms: MRI and EEG. They showed nothing beyond the ordinary. Whatever. I’ve gotta live with it. The bud helps. Still, if you see me trembling, know that it is normal for me. It’s all good. No worries.

It’s raptors this morning. Two kestrels and two hawks. I’ve no desire to go into the totem and archetypal symbolism, except to say that I recognize and revere the way these raptors seem to harness chaos. An osprey, for example, hangs loose on a high wind current until she folds her wings and plunges like a stone toward the water. The trick is to snatch the fish from the water while using her wings to pull out of that insane dive. I admire that skill, and can see how it applies to my life changes now. I’ve set something in motion and there’s no going back. Ooooo, mysterious, right? Yeh, right. I’m hoping to head up into the alpine realm after the laundry is done. If we look at the Celtic concept and practice of “Hillwalking” we . . . oh, never mind. I’m done with writing for today.

Peace out, y’all. Goof gloriously.


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