Long Before Actual Dawn


“A person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was getting knowledge that was always going to be useful to him, and warn’t ever going to grow dim or doubtful.” ~ Mark Twain

“And then there were cats, thought Dog. He’d surprised the huge ginger cat from next door and had attempted to reduce it to cowering jelly by means of the usual glowing stare and deep-throated growl, which had always worked on the damned in the past. This time they had earned him a whack on the nose that had made his eyes water. Cats, Dog considered, were clearly a lot tougher than lost souls. He was looking forward to a further cat experiment, which he planned would consist of jumping around and yapping excitedly at it. It was a long shot, but it just might work.”

“A cat’s rage is beautiful, burning with pure cat flame, all its hair standing up and crackling blue sparks, eyes blazing and sputtering.” ~ William H. Burroughs

That first quote, from Mark Twain, tickles me, and always will. It was underscored yesterday when I took Rosie over to the veterinarian to get her blood sugar levels checked. She’s never happy going over there – a drive of maybe seven miles one way – but yesterday did not want to go. I managed to get her into the carrier without spilling any of my blood. Rosie did, however, apparently snag the vet tech a good one. When he brought the cat back out from wherever he had her he was sporting a paper towel wrapped around his right hand. All he said was, “This is a feisty one”, then scurried away,  back from whence he came. I felt bad for him and apologized for the wound; overall, no big deal, though I didn’t say so. Sure, I chuckled some after he left, just as I usually did at the animal shelter, when I worked there, most every time some feline snagged me a good one. The humor for me is in the fact that regardless of all the “nice kitty” hype that cats get these little beasties are deadly predators, they are loaded for bear from birth. Everyone gets pissed off once in a while. Years ago I got pissed at the dentist who took an hour to pull one of my wisdom teeth. As the faithful barefoot island hippy boy I was in those days I breathed my way into an alpha state and continued to allow myself to be there throughout the ordeal. When the dentist finished the intrusion he snapped me out of the trance, holding the tooth in front of my face, and said, “I can’t believe you did that without gas!”. It was praise but I still wanted to hit him, like ya know he coulda just given me gas somewhere along the line, after he realized that I might be suffering from the extended time it was taking. But no. I was pissed! There was no actual suffering because in an alpha state the brain is pretty much just taking it all in through the auspices of the mindfulness meditation, in an intentional exercise that resembles the Silva Mind Control Method. I see it as a manifestation of Goddess energy: “Stay calm, child, there is no need for resistance. Everything is going to be okay. It is resistance to the pain that causes suffering “. And she would be right. He went on to point out that the tooth had four roots, which he said is rare, and that all four roots had firmly fixed themselves into my lower jaw bone. Of course I didn’t hit him. But back to the cat. I still have not heard from the vet; come to just now find out that my voicemail box was full, and sometimes calls fail to appear on my call log anyway. So I will have to call at break time from work. Two weeks ago we ceased her daily insulin injections because the glucose test showed a level of 38, which is critically low. My hopes are up. She hasn’t had insulin for two weeks now, and since cats, unlike humans, can actually recover from diabetes, that’s the way I want it to be. Anyway . . . I can hear some coyotes howling in the distance, in the darkness before the dawn. Geez, “the darkness before the dawn”? How trite, how aphoristic, how annoying that I had to use the phrase because it best describes what is happening here and now. I know that the phrase is a subjective consideration, statement, whatever, and not a scientific one, because starting with nautical dawn, the rising of light begins long before actual dawn, and the darkness begins fading long before it vanishes altogether. It’s the dark night of the soul that is key here. I get that on a daily basis, every friggin morning, and it is rarely to any significant degree. Which is the case today. The fake rooster has begun to crow and the coyotes have gone silent. Time to meander out to the side yard and see what the mountains and the Sun are up to.

Peace out, y’all. Goof gloriously


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