Don’t Fly Too Low

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“Unlike other forms of psychological disorders, the core issue in trauma is reality.” ~ Bessel A. van der Kolk

“The conflict between the will to deny horrible events and the will to proclaim them aloud is the central dialectic of psychological trauma.” ~ Judith Lewis Herman

“Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become expert at ignoring their gut feelings and in numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from their selves.” ~ Bessel A. van der Kolk

That last quote gives me the shivers. He nailed it: “The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort“. I feel that gnawing every day before sunrise. Every friggin day. No sanctuary. Sometimes that “interior discomfort” gets stoked, then the trauma wakes up, rears its ugly head (as they say tritely), and does that ominous looming thing it does so well. Not so much this morning. Yeh, I got triggered yesterday when the cat woke me up and told me someone was witching me through my dreams. Ya gotta take that stuff seriously around these parts. I can defend myself, and I think I know where this intrusive energy is coming from. I’m not worried about it. And no, the cat does not speak English or Spanish. The voice she used yesterday was a new one to me, but it was definitely a version of meow. Not so much more to say today. Yesterday I mentioned the new/old twist on the Icarus myth. Suffice it to say it rocked my world, giving new power to the story I will tell in my novel. Almost makes me want to write. When I think of Icarus flying too low I get an image of soppy wings, which is definitely not cool. Whatever. It stimulated my creative Muse, and now she is doing the looming thing, but it is a friendly and loving loom she provides, not like PTSD does. A loom good for weaving. Sounds good. Bueno bye.

Peace out, y’all. Goof gloriously.

 

 

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