Far Longer Than 40 Years


“Fiction is one of the few experiences where loneliness can be both confronted and relieved. Drugs, movies where stuff blows up, loud parties — all these chase away loneliness by making me forget my name’s Dave and I live in a one-by-one box of bone no other party can penetrate or know. Fiction, poetry, music, really deep serious sex, and, in various ways, religion — these are the places (for me) where loneliness is countenanced, stared down, transfigured, treated.” ~ David Foster Wallace

“Lonely people tend, rather, to be lonely because they decline to bear the psychic costs of being around other humans. They are allergic to people. People affect them too strongly.” ~ David Foster Wallace

So you must not be frightened if a sadness rises up before you larger than any you have ever seen; if a restiveness, like light and cloudshadows, passes over your hands and over all you do. You must think that something is happening with you, that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand; it will not let you fall. Why do you want to shut out of your life any uneasiness, any miseries, or any depressions? For after all, you do not know what work these conditions are doing inside you.” ~ Rainer Maria Wilke

A whole lotta stretching and yawning going on this morning. Weariness. Exasperation. True yet mild alarm at the question of what the president is going to do if his minions lose a significant number of House, and maybe Senate, seats. He can at this point simply declare that “violent mob rule” by Democrats will not be allowed. He already calls peaceful protests “violent mob rule”. What could go wrong, right? But enough of that. Just hold onto your hats for the next two weeks. If you don’t have a hat, borrow one. Just sayin’.

Today is a workday after two days off in a row. I’ve gotten a healthy amount of rest/sleep throughout, but I had to allow for a change in sleep patterns to make it so. This change I mention is natural, I didn’t find it or justification for it in a book. What I am finding is that allotted ‘acceptable’ chunks of sleep are not working for me at this point and place in time. Case in point: I catnapped through yesterday afternoon, on into evening. Star Trek Next Gen playing via Netflix. Or the new Netflix series “The Haunting of Hill House”. I’ve not seen these episodes so I gotta go back and watch them while awake. Star Trek, though? Not so much. No need to go back. I’ve seen most episodes before. Besides, it’s a palliative. The Netflix series is absorbing . . . and it easily and rightly qualifies as, for, whatever, research for my novel. The word “easy” seems not to apply to any part of writing a novel. And one endeavor in the novel is to portray the ‘dark side’ of the paranormal in a compassionate and nonjudgmental way. Like, what if you accuse a ghost of being a lost soul trapped in the past, yet the poor spirit is simply doing her job. Don’t pull that ‘lost soul’ shit on me while I am at work, at my day job, k? I struggled for 40 years to get over that. I ain’t havin’ it. Now, some of these ghosties have been at it for far longer than 40 years. Just sayin’.

Well, this pained novelist has gotta git his assets on to work. Oh, gee Wally, does that mean I have to go into town? Yes it does, Beav, yes it does. There I go . . .

Peace out, y’all. Goof gloriously.


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