“The alleged power to charm down insanity, or ferocity in beasts, is a power behind the eye.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
“When I was no longer of the world, I would miss its extravagant beauty. I would miss the complex and charming layers of subterfuge by which the truth of the world’s mysteries were withheld from us even as we were tantalized and enchanted by them. I would miss the kindness of good people who were compassionate when so many were pitiless, who made their way through so much corruption without being corrupted themselves, who eschewed envy in a world of envy, who eschewed greed in a world of greed, who valued truth and could not be drowned in a sea of lies, for they shone and, by the light they cast, they warmed me all my life.” ~Dean Koontz
“Part of love is preparing for death. You feel confirmed in your love when she dies. You got it right. This is part of it all.” ~ Julian Barnes
This may well become a sleepy day. I’d like that. In fact it is somewhat of a goal. I’m tired, and I was just lucky enough to remember the common remedy for that. It is only just this morning that I realized that a death in my immediate circle hit me harder than I’d realized. Aneurism. Fast. The revelation of the impact on me came when I stopped by to pay my phone bill, and coincidentally learned a new and rather stunning detail about the situation. I won’t mention it here. Details would detract from the true nature of the whole affair, which is life, and mystery itself. But, as I was saying . . . it hit me hard through a combination of my NDE and feelings from Lori’s death in the Summer of ’95. Let’s see – 2019 minus 1995? 24 years. Some things never grow old. My own death came 11 years earlier than Lori’s, but I managed to talk my way out of it. Sort of. And one of the key features of my journey to the Other Side was pretty much the same as my plight today . . . like, dude, slow the fuck down, dude, and get some rest! After my visit to pay my bill I circled around past the animal shelter and the DMV, then on into the dispensary, where I consulted with the young man behind the counter. Just the smell of that place had me calming down right away, but not nearly to the degree of rest I needed. I told him that I needed something to make me really really mellow. “Man, I need to get some rest”. He recommended a certain strain called “Super Glue”. Yeh! Being glued to the chair all day might be just the thing. Back when I used to go up there, the dispensary in San Luis, Colorado had a strain call “Gorilla Glue”. Stuff that makes you One with the chair, couch, whatever. I’m fixin’ to do that before too long. From the dispensary I went to the pharmacy, where I picked up more stuff to calm me down; refills of the pharmaceuticals I take daily. The cynical me will blame my exhaustion on the Red Bull-soused speed cult that is today’s world. The wounded soul in me will attribute it to the fact that we are entering uncharted territory in therapy, so maybe I simply have my archetypes all in an uproar, and metaphors swarming around me, each one eager to show me what they have to offer. My goal today, besides getting some rest, is to see what I can do about quieting the twitches and occasional spasm. Those both scare me to some degree well above zero. But no worries. There is one other factor involved here today, and I may sound petty. Whatever. I finally got my official Ozark Mountain Daredevils (the underlined text is a link to one of their videos) ball cap. All things soothing to the soul. That’s me today: I’m headed to the Lowlands Bueno bye.
Peace out, y’all. Goof gloriously.