It’ll Shine When It Shines

“We dream to give ourselves hope. To stop dreaming – well, that’s like saying you can never change your fate.” ~ Amy Tan

“Sometimes the slightest things change the directions of our lives, the merest breath of a circumstance, a random moment that connects like a meteorite striking the earth. Lives have swiveled and changed direction on the strength of a chance remark.” ~ Bryce Courtenay

“There it was again. Fate. As a child, the word was often my only companion. It whispered to me from dark corners during lonely nights. It was the song of the birds in spring and the call of the wind through bare branches on a cold winter afternoon. Fate. Both my anguish and my solace. My escort and my cage.” ~ Leslye Walton

Regardless. As much as I have tried, it’s just too awkward writing with the cat on my lap. Now she lies on her bed, to my right, seemingly sulking. But what do I know about how cats think? I know they do think; I’ve seen them do it. Cats can reason things out. Like the ravens I feed at lunchtime. They do it too. I could go on about this, about the qualities and abilities that we share with animals while thinking that they can’t do it, or don’t have it in them. Our loss, I’m sure. That aside – I’ve been sitting here this morning, for over an hour, reading quotes about fate and destiny. It seems I might could maybe have been meant to do so. So be it, right? I’ve been a little slow with my coffee consumption, maybe because I became so absorbed in my task, fascinated by what these people were saying to me. I have no definitive . . . . oh, what the heck. Let’s just say I got all inspired and stuff. These days, dreams and inspiration are sorely needed. These are dark times. Just start pumping light, and keep the valve open. That’s what I say. Douse that sumbitch of a president with everything we’ve got, then watch him and his flying monkeys melt down like nobody’s business. Now, going forward, the tidbit that sticks with me from the quote search is the idea of a tiny act, event, or word, turning life in a new direction in an instant, fascinates me. I can think of more than a few times this has happened to me. The day I met Lori was perhaps the most impactful – but, then, I loved her with all my heart and soul. One is likely to remember such a thing, right? Yeh, right. The first moment I saw her was one big wow. There was no volition on my part. It wasn’t so much of a sexual attraction, although there was a fair amount of wow in that as well. Turns out we were singing the same song, only each with our own lyrics. Was that sentence awkward? Whatever. There was a moment a few years back when I had a similar chance encounter that shifted my life irreversibly. Once again, there was no volition on my part; the woman just blew me away and it went on from there. Not romance. Not this time. But that doesn’t matter when the magic runs so strong and sweet. These things, I suppose, happen all the time; little synchronicities that remind us that there is some level of intelligence in our lives that is beyond our ability to reason. I’ve been feeling and seeing that intelligence, that magic, lately. All around me. It’s really really cool! As a depressive I can easily go to deep sadness and self-deprecation when I can’t see and/or feel the magic, as if it is my fault. It’s not. No praise, no blame. But I ain’t feelin’ so down today. At the moment I am being serenaded by a ring-necked turtledove. Sweet, sweet song. Far be it from me to hang a dream or expectation on that song, but I’ll do so anyway. It’s just the way I am. Hopeless romantic. Hopeful romantic. Whatever. Let’s not get into definitions today – I tell myself. Magic, like music, is about flow, not sequence. Sequence is a product of our minds as they relate to the rather cheeky assumption that we really really know what time is. Time, fate, destiny – no wait – friggin text message coming through right now. Don’t look up from the screen or you might miss it in the immediacy of the moment. But what if you did look up? That text ain’t goin’ nowhere. You can look at it later. What is happening right in from of your digital eyes ain’t never gonna happen again. But I don’t do texting, so what do I know. All I know is that there is a certain smile I’d like to see today, though I know that is unlikely. No worries. In closing I would like to do so with a quote from the amazing Ozark Mountain Daredevils. I just got my official Daredevils hat, and . . . “Seems like everyone is out looking for the Sun, singing rain and pain on he who hesitates. But it’ll shine when it shines. You might think I’m wastin’ time. But I’m just a a good ol’ boy who’s learned to wait”.

Peace out, y’all. Goof gloriously.

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