“But what we call our despair is often only the painful eagerness of unfed hope.” ~ George Elliot
“My first feeling was that there was no way to continue. Writing isn’t like math; in math, two plus two always equals four no matter what your mood is like. With writing, the way you feel changes everything.” ~ Stephanie Meyers
“In my own worst seasons I’ve come back from the colorless world of despair by forcing myself to look hard, for a long time, at a single glorious thing: a flame of red geranium outside my bedroom window. And then another: my daughter in a yellow dress. And another: the perfect outline of a full, dark sphere behind the crescent moon. Until I learned to be in love with my life again. Like a stroke victim retraining new parts of the brain to grasp lost skills, I have taught myself joy, over and over again” ~ Barbara Kingsolver
It’s funny; I find all three of today’s quotes to be delicious. Funny as in peculiar. And why peculiar? Things change, and it is fun to watch and experience the changes at the same time. Everything comes to look and feel refreshing, in a most peculiar way. Yesterday’s visit to the doctor was an eye opener. The occasion was my annual yearly checkup. We will discuss the results of the blood work in a few weeks. Seems I am in good physical shape. Go figure. The mental state, not so much. But that can be worked with. I knew this week would be a life-shift on some level and in some way. Like, how vague is that?! I think I will leave it at that for now. Besides the checkup there were multiple synchronicities as well. One of those was that my favorite song, Dire Straits “Walk of Life”, followed me around, playing in the background at three different places I stopped. Just weird. But it serves to remind me that there is a contributing intelligence operating in the background of life. I can’t get it clearly today, so I will embrace the ambiguity. Like go with the flow dude. Yeh, there was the medical checkup, but something else happened, a seemingly chance encounter, lots of smiles. Magic. Sometimes you can just forego explanations and definitions, following whatever it is that will pull you through. That’s where my head is at this morning. Not pushing, just pulling. Upon the occasion of my nearly doing myself in back in 1984, in a freak bicycle crash, I came to watch for magic in my life. It comes and goes. Magic shone through my personal clouds yesterday. That’s what I’m saying. Time to savor, and forego any need for explanation or meaning. Magic doesn’t work like that. Not in my experience. Magic sometimes thrives on vagueness and ambiguity. Sometimes just paying attention is all y’all need to get along. If some single glorious thing pops up, by all means keep paying attention. And don’t be astonished. That spoils the magic.
Peace out, y’all. Goof gloriously.