Annoyance and Calmness

“So don’t be frightened, dear friend, if a sadness confronts you larger than any you have ever known, casting its shadow over all you do. You must think that something is happening within you, and remember that life has not forgotten you; it holds you in its hand and will not let you fall. Why would you want to exclude from your life any uneasiness, any pain, any depression, since you don’t know what work they are accomplishing within you?” ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

“The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof. What I want is so simple I almost can’t say it: elementary kindness. Enough to eat, enough to go around. The possibility that kids might one day grow up to be neither the destroyers nor the destroyed. That’s about it. Right now I’m living in that hope, running down its hallway and touching the walls on both sides.” ~Barbara Kingsolver

Weirdness abounds, these days. When I looked up the word “wyrd” it was really no comfort. In fact I found it to be annoying. With very little effort I could find most anything to be annoying this morning. Let’s just say that the weekend was challenging. No, wait – I would prefer to say it sucked overall. It got nightmarish at several points, enough so that I had to break out a tidbit of rationality and remind myself that there is an inescapable physical component to mental illness. That reminder itself doesn’t in any detectable way actually change the physical component. Ya jest gotta deal with it. There ain’t much chance of running away when you have your lead boots on. Besides taking my meds last evening I also treated myself to some humor, in the form of “Get Smart”, the movie. I was a big fan of the old TV show, so maybe I’m a tad prejudiced, but I really enjoyed the film. Besides, it gave me a chance to observe Anne Hathaway (Agent 99), and she always makes me smile. No, it’s not a great movie. Trust me when I say that, mood considered, I would have found a great movie to be annoying. But underneath it all runs that deep and abiding current of calmness. Annoyance can’t really corrode that because the calmness is on a deeper level. I’m gonna stick with the calmness today because the day promises to be annoying, simply because I am alive in a weird world that’s seemingly gone mad. As for the wyrd, it kinda sorta means a fate, karma, destiny, whatever. Yeh, whatever. I’m finding my typing to be annoying right now, so I am going to find something else to do before work.

Peace out, y’all. Goof gloriously

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