“We are perishing for want of wonder, not for want of wonders.” ~ G. K. Chesterton
“When you get to a certain age you find that other people’s opinions don’t really matter anymore, and you get kind of uncomfortable with your place in modern life.” ~ Noel Gallagher
“We are told we must choose — the old or the new. In fact, we must choose both. What is a life if not a series of negotiations between the old and the new?” ~ Susan Sontag
Mindless scrolling is coming to be kind of a boogie man for me. I catch myself doing it, and it’s like, “Oh, no. Not this again”. I see it’s a drug. The mindlessness of it is the whole point. Like on Facebook – dozens of photos of food do not make me hungry. That says something. But what? It’s just an example, but it is as far as I will go with it. It’s been raining lightly all night. Hovering right at the freezing mark. This storm has not passed, and it won’t until tomorrow. I’m okay with it, except that a cold rainy day is sort of a chalice for me. A quest. A fulfillment of a relaxing influence that does not dump anything toxic into my mind. Sweet. Natural. But no! I finally get the perfect storm and I have to go into Taos to the workday. Don’t friggin call it karma – I tell myself. I will enjoy the day anyway. That Chesterton (what an unusual and refreshing mind) quote provides the key. As dismal as I can get lately, it has somehow opened me up to the wonder, of life, in life, whatever. There are days when this fascination with the actuality of life is pretty much the sole thing that pulls me through the fear and anxiety that I feel out there in the world. No, I don’t resent my not being able to stay home on a rainy day. I could call in but I am still listed as part-time, so sick pay is but a fantasy. The irony is that I have begun writing a book – a slim volume – about coping and management skills for trauma victims, and lo and behold, those skills are being put to the test as soon as I begin writing in earnest. This too is a wonder. Time to prep for work. Tally ho.
All is well. Goof gloriously.