The Art of Tharn

“The significance of our lives and our fragile planet is then determined only by our own wisdom and courage. We are the custodians of life’s meaning. We long for a Parent to care for us, to forgive us our errors, to save us from our childish mistakes. But knowledge is preferable to ignorance. Better by far to embrace the hard truth than a reassuring fable. If we crave some cosmic purpose, then let us find ourselves a worthy goal.” ~ Carl Sagan

“A priest once quoted to me the Roman saying that a religion is dead when the priests laugh at each other across the altar. I always laugh at the altar, be it Christian, Hindu, or Buddhist, because real religion is the transformation of anxiety into laughter.” ~ Alan Watts

“Isn’t it sad how some people’s grip on their lives is so precarious that they’ll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?” ~ Bill Watterson

There’s a made-up word – from Watership Down – for that thing rabbits sometimes do where they see you coming and freeze on the spot. A little bunny out by the car just reminded me of that. She also made me harken back to the book I’m reading on a kinesthetic approach to healing trauma. A sudden shock may trigger a fight or flight response but it can also give you a serious case of Tharn. That’s how what I call “micro-triggers” for panic attacks operate. When a trigger trips some people seem to think I am more than a wee bit daft; which may be true, but that’s not the point, k? Thanks, yer a pal. These attacks are brief yet powerful, and they come all day every day, friggin 24/7. And boy howdy it sure do wring me out. I seem to have had one in my sleep a couple of nights a go as well. There seems to be a 1-2 punch (punch is not a metaphor). Or at least I did not plan it that way. involved 1) I’ve been delving into the mindset I need as a foundational template for the new book 2) the pandemic and working out on the front lines. I need money to buy cat food. This is in my own best interest, of course. She’s sitting over there all whiny and stuff. After 16.5 years I have yet to feel okay with being bossed around by someone 1/20th of my size. It’s sometimes not so fun living with a superior being. Wow, that was some tangent! So tharn it is, and believe you me, it is what it is. At, in, whatever, the moment it is a golden Sunday morning. The light cast on the trees beyond this window. That’s what’s golden. Me, I’m probably golden somewhere in my subconscious, but heck if I can feel it at the moment. In the words of the great Ozark Mountain Daredevils: “It’ll shine when it shines you might think I’m wastin’ time, but I’m just a good old boy who’s learned to wait”.

All is well. Goof gloriously.

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