“Therefore, dear Sir, love your solitude and try to sing out with the pain it causes you. For those who are near you are far away… and this shows that the space around you is beginning to grow vast…. be happy about your growth, in which of course you can’t take anyone with you, and be gentle with those who stay behind; be confident and calm in front of them and don’t torment them with your doubts and don’t frighten them with your faith or joy, which they wouldn’t be able to comprehend. Seek out some simple and true feeling of what you have in common with them, which doesn’t necessarily have to alter when you yourself change again and again; when you see them, love life in a form that is not your own and be indulgent toward those who are growing old, who are afraid of the aloneness that you trust…. and don’t expect any understanding; but believe in a love that is being stored up for you like an inheritance, and have faith that in this love there is a strength and a blessing so large that you can travel as far as you wish without having to step outside it.” ~ Rainer Maria Rilke
“I want to be able to be alone, to find it nourishing – not just a waiting.” ~ Susan Sontag
Mockingbird joyfully bathing in a mud puddle. That’s enough beauty to get me through this whole coming week. I saw him at it yesterday, in the driveway, not 20 feet from where I sat. And he looked at me frequently, in solid eye contact, which indicated to me that we were cool with the arrangement. Mockingbirds are fierce defenders of their territory, so I was blessed to be in his immediate presense. This Nature sighting ranks right up there with the mountain lions and dolphins. Ah, the little things. Such as sleeping away most of yesterday. I don’t think it was fully exhaustion and catching up on needed rest, it seemed to mostly be a journey into the Dreamtime. I sense that some of the fruits of that journey will whisper and dance for me throughout the day. There have also been a few epic deja vus lately. Magic is afoot in the land. It’s a short workday today. Likely it will be an early bedtime as well, though I hope to stretch it out some. Moderation, and all that happy horseshit. I’ve sugar-coated the reason for sleeping so much: it is also from this friggin depressive cycle. I’ve remained mostly rational through the thick of it, but it takes a big toll nonetheless. But for now it is shower time, the getting on with this gainful employment think. Onward.
All is well. Goof gloriously.