“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.” ~ Paulo Coelho
“Each one of us has lived through some devastation, some loneliness, some weather superstorm or spiritual superstorm, when we look at each other we must say, I understand. I understand how you feel because I have been there myself. We must support each other and empathize with each other because each of us is more alike than we are unalike.” ~ Maya Angelou
“Detachment means letting go and nonattachment means simply letting be.” ~ Stephen Levine
Thankfully, the cat finally calmed down. She was wandering around the room making little mournful sounds. Likely a cry for early breakfast, but you never know with cats, it could be some form of existential expression. The wind seems to have calmed down as well. I don’t know, there’s just something about wind at night that fascinates me.
Since I finished that last sentence the wind has begun gusting again. The sound of it coming and going reminds me of something I can’t quite put my finger on, but I sense it has to do with emotions, soul weather. Yeh, likely so. Tonight we have the December Cold Full Moon. The sight of the steady passage of thick clouds is inspiring, as is the frequent break in the clouds where moonlight caresses its way down through the spaces. For some reason the air forgot to get cold last night. At 42º it feels downright balmy, compared to recent nights; going back weeks, now that I think about it. At least I won’t have to scrape ice from my windshield before I head into town in a few hours.
The coffee is all gone and I am mildly deliberating whether or not to make another pot. It might be a good idea to make more. My mind is pretty expansive so far this morning. Caffeine reins that in for me, and I will need that focus for my task in town later this morning. I’m not saying that ‘the big picture’ ain’t needed for what I have to do. It actually is a big picture kind of thing, having to do with my quality of life from here on out and stuff. My mind pretty much shifted into ‘endgame of life’ mentality throughout the past year. And my heart is perfectly okay with that, it seems. Mind and body are the key tools in soul shaping, cultivation, whatever. So, really, my body aches most all the time – and my mind quivers, most always, with self-sufficient anxiety, which means that situational threats and challenges merely exacerbates what it already there, all the time. For whatever reason this reminds me of Foghorn Leghorn, the Looney Tunes rooster, cock, whatever: “Boy, I say, boy – now dooonnn’t get me riled”. Ummmm, yeh, what he said. All silliness and metaphors aside, the key here, for me, for my quality of life going forward, is to craft purpose, entwining and entangling purpose on down deep into the pain and fear. I mean, if it ain’t goin’ away best put it to use, reckon? I just ain’t quite sure how, right now.
Just back from another trip outside, to sit on the deck and gaze at the racing clouds and brilliant moon. The time has come to finish this post, eat something, shower, then head into town to do what I gotta do. My mood says to stay home, and although that would have spiritual value I . . . dang, I feel this way every morning.
Peace out, y’all. Goof gloriously.