“The Edge… There is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.” ~ Hunter S. Thompson
“Scraps of memory: this is not how a climax should be written. A climax should surge towards its Himalayan peak; but I am left with shreds, and must jerk towards my crisis like a puppet with broken strings. This is not what I had planned; but perhaps the story you finish is never the one you begin.” ~ Salman Rushdie
It’s 4:30 AM, do you know where your coffee is? That was me about an hour ago. I was awake early, foiling the cat by waking ten minutes before her customary ‘tap, tap, tap’ on the head or shoulder. Upon realizing I had been awake for 90 minutes without coffee I playfully recoiled, while simultaneously assuring myself that real anger was not appropriate for the situation. See, the real stuff began and I caught it and repurposed the emotional energy into – ummmm, whatever. I’m getting pretty good at this management stuff. With a mental and/or emotional disorder you might find it best to learn to manage the stuff. Soooo, my immediate reaction was, verbatim, “Ohhhh, coffee! For chrissakes”. That exclamation sounded just like my father, and I was like all dude is that you or a memory? I am a firm believer in After Death Communications. Been there, done that, won’t stop now. Ever. Right this moment I can ‘see’ the look on Lori’s face. She was the love of my life. Her passing in 1995 perhaps was the impetus that led to my belief. I already had the makings of the belief, having experienced an NDE back in 1984. Yeh, I crossed over and came back. Please note, all you Christians: I was not reborn, I just stepped out for a few minutes, and now I am back. That’s all. But, moving forward, I did not intend to write about life and death and stuff, but now that I think of it I really have no choice. I mean, what else is there? And I’m like dude haven’t you got anything better to do? Yes, I call myself dude on occasion. I call the cat that much more than I do myself. I think the reference to my father, back in the 9th sentence here, was the first time I ever called my father dude. We must all grow, growth is good. Anyway, back to the look on Lori’s face. Because I found her face to be so beautiful I always found myself smiling when she got all skeptical on me. She was soooo cute when she did that! Her mom was a pretty good friend of mine before I met Lori, and mom was into the Edgar Cayce A.R.E. stuff, which made her a believer as well. So, the skepticism? What’s up with that? Woo woo stuff, she thought all Star Trek fans were freaks (her word, not mine), and she was firm in expressing her belief that marijuana would never ever become legal. On that last point, my dear, you were wrong, mistaken, whatever. I’ve been inside a marijuana dispensary yonder, just north of the border, in Colorado. I wish you could be there to see it with me. Hey, were you there? Just askin. And no, I did not go yesterday, because I felt like shit, physically, that is. I slept on and off all day. Were you in my dreams? No, it was some other woman, and that woman said that she and I should go get a bite to eat, almost like an invitation for a casual, spontaneous date, and yes that woman is alive and well outside of my dream world, unless, of course, you cotton to the ideas that it is ALL a dream, illusion, whatever. I can see you there with your imaginary arms crossed across your chest, that skeptical look on your face, your right foot tapping a mile a minute. Hey, yer askin me what took me so long, ain’tcha. Don’t be wry with me, k? I know what yer up to – I think. Uh hmmmm, didn’t mean to leave you readers hangin while I talked to a ghost. I just do that sometimes. Ain’t no thang. So, did I have a prophetic dream last night? Not really. I made the first move months ago. The . . . oh, never mind. I do tend to cotton to the notion that it is all a dream, so what ever happened last night in that dream happened and I am just going to have to live with it. It is what is is. What happens happens. Que sera sera. Thanks for the encouragement, Lori. Shaboom shaboom.
Peace out, y’all. Goof gloriously.