“Humans need fantasy to be human. To be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape.” ~ Sir Terry Pratchett
“There was once a young man who wished to gain his Heart’s Desire.” ~ Neil Gaiman
“Nothing is lost. . .Everything is transformed.” ~ Michael Ende
Wow, this country is really writhing these past few days. Who can blame it, right? I just had a flash of enlightenment about an hour ago (5 AM MST), and I was shown that I could go on reading article after article about the shit show we have been presented with here in America, for hour after hour after blessed hour, and I would end up using up a perfectly good day. I have only one thing to say at this point: for all of my personal mental health issues our spankin brand new President is showing me that it could be worse. BTW, he needs a good spanking. Me, not so much. Now, moving forward, I’m making a late start in writing this post, and I really need to step outside for some fresh air, even though it is 19º and pretty darned windy. Busy backson.
“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living.” ~ Dr. Seuss
I feel better now. In the corner of the deck, where it meets the house, there is a buildup, a single sheet of thin ice. I balanced my self, with bare feet, on my toes, back against the wall, and looked at the wonderland scene before me. The snow makes everything so nice. My coming day is free, my day off from work, and only two obligations, responsibilities, whatever. First, at 10:15 AM, I have my second massage appointment with my highly skilled masseuse. After only one session I already treasure her. I made a good choice, considering a fairly large number of massage therapists in Taos. I was pretty yakky last session, about the stuff that put me in the condition I am in, but I wanted her to know about the PTSD I have from the bicycle accident back in 1984. My goal is to work out some of the emotional toxins from the resulting PTSD. Not to mention the physical pains and knots and stuff I have from more immediate stressors and exertion. There are days, quite a few actually, when I just don’t even want to leave the house. But I go. It takes tremendous exertion to walk through a day. No ‘poor me’ necessary here. It is simply a fact of life. I am working on accepting my life as it is, with no undue judgement, and I’m like all merciful with myself and stuff dude. Dude it’s just the right thing to do dude. No praise, no blame.
One of the themes of this blog is NDEs. I had one of those NDEs when my bicycle went down in a freak accident. At the time, as a moderately depressive lad, I never expected to see my 30th birthday. That sorry excuse for an expectation almost came true, coming up short by only eight months. Close call, right? This has come back to me because I sold a book on Amazon two weeks ago (shameless self-promotion: click here to see my Amazon sales page). It’s a pretty good book. The Fates led me to being included in two mass market books about NDEs. One is The Wisdom of Near Death Experiences, by the lovely Dr. Penny Sartori, of Wales, UK. A synchronicity led the author of the second book to Penny, who referred her to me, and it turned out that the author and I actually already knew each other, casually! Go figure, right? The second book has nearly a full chapter about the after effects of the NDE and how they changed my life. The book is Life After Near Death, by the lovely Debra Diamond of Baltimore, Maryland, USA. It’s all been great fun.
But, now, back to the massage. I really need it today. The after effects from the first session lasted comfortably for 4-5 days, then pains returned but their nature was different, and the locations were not configured in the way they used to be. Interesting. There is obviously a change in the energy flow in my body. Another thing was a lifting of my usual drab and darkish mood up into actual happiness. I told my psychotherapist that I had just experienced three consecutive days of actual happiness, and she was like all I’ve never heard you say that before. This is good. Boy howdy is it ever! That is one of the weird things about mental disorder, you seem to remember so called ‘normal’ functioning, even though you never are really in a so called normal state of mind. Cognitive dissonance anyone? Yeh, buddy. But life is good. Freshly acquired Social Security benefit payments. A good though supremely annoying cat named Rosie. A good job, with a fine team of coworkers, all of whom have good senses of humor, along with good work ethics. A solid start on a metaphysical novel, The Final Convenience, which is both serious and comical. My car needs some work. A quiet life in a stunningly beautiful place. And a new massage therapist who is highly skilled, and both pretty and sweet. I prefer women when it comes to physical and mental health providers. It’s a nurture thing. There is much more. My sense of gratitude flows freely when I have enough sense to let it do that. My spiritual connections are always strong, and always on. Yeh – hey, I gotta go now; go out to the car and see how much snow I gotta sweep off the vehicle, and I’ll get a good gander at the Sacred Mountain while I am out there. Before I go I’d like to welcome a new reader from the UK. And potential new readers from Ireland and the Isle of Man. I like this transcontinental attention. Welcome, folks!
Peace out, y’all. Goof gloriously.